Two Things to Look For When You’re in a Mess
When you find yourself in a mess, life can seem confusing if not completely overwhelming. Here are a couple of things to look for in the mess that might just help you take a step out of it.
If you’ve ever done Christian counseling, you know that you often walk through the door feeling jumbled and walk out feeling clear and refreshed. You’re encouraged where you were discouraged. You’re clear where you were fuzzy. You’ve acknowledged what you’ve done well, as well as where you’ve made mistakes. It’s powerful.
I once got the privilege of hearing from two incredibly skilled pastors in how they counsel people. These are cream-of-the-crop type of leaders who know how to sit with someone in their mess and disciple that person towards Jesus and healing.
As they spoke, it was powerful to hear - not just as a leader of others, but also for myself personally. Here are the two insights they shared when someone is in a mess that I often look for in my own soul.
1. Look for a Lie
The Christian worldview teaches us that God created the world perfect, sin entered the world, everything is broken, and we have an enemy - the father of lies - who is looking to devour us.
When a person is wandering from Jesus, there’s often a lie they’re believing. In fact, let’s make that personal. When I’m struggling to follow Jesus, I’m often believing a lie. Here are a few examples:
- Struggle with a Particular Sin
Lie: I believe the sin is good, and God is withholding.
Truth: Every good thing in my life comes from God, not sin. - Anger with My Spouse
Lie: My spouse is my enemy and the problem.
Truth: My enemy is NOT flesh and blood, and the prince of this world hates marriage because it’s a picture of the Gospel. - Consistent Stress
Lie: It all depends on me.
Truth: God is my provider and my source of strength; I depend on Him.
Underneath an area of struggle is often a lie we believe. And the way out is the truth that God is giving us.
2. Look for Something Out of Order
Our God is a God of order.
All over the Bible, God instructs order. Sabbath rest. Seek first the Kingdom. Days and nights. Seasons and years.
When something is out of whack, things are often out of order. Let me demonstrate by looking at the temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4:
Satan tempted Jesus with eating bread. Jesus would eventually eat bread, but it was time for fasting at the moment.
Satan tempted Jesus with jumping off the temple, garnering Him many followers. Jesus was about to call disciples, but first, He had to spend time with His Father in the desert.
Satan tempted Jesus with the whole Earth. Jesus will come back to claim the Earth as the rightful king, but first, He had to humble Himself and die on the cross.
Satan takes good things and places them out of order. So when something is wrong in life, sometimes it’s because we’re out of order. A few examples:
There’s a God-ordained order to salvation that starts with Jesus giving you a free gift and you accepting it - not trying to earn it.
There’s a God-ordained order to our time, involving work, time with Jesus, family, serving others, and rest.
There’s a God-ordained order to marriage, sex, living together, and children.
There’s a God-ordained order to money, involving tithe, savings, needs, and wants.
There are consequences when we live outside of God’s ordained order because we’re living outside of how God designed us. It's like if you put the wrong type of fuel in your car: if you take anything outside of its created design, things can go bad in a hurry. When you fix the order, you’ll find yourself “firing on all cylinders.”
So if you’re ever walking through a difficult season in an area of life, look for a lie and look for God’s order. Then, look for the truth and change the order.
And if you need a little help in your life finding the lie you’re believing or finding what’s out of order, reach out to a Christian friend, a small group leader, or a member of the prayer team at church.
