True peace isn’t a feeling we chase—it’s found in a Person.

By nature, I wouldn’t call myself a peaceful person. Am I excitable? Yes. Reactive? Definitely. Passionate? Absolutely. Hypersensitive? Without a doubt.

Anxious? Let’s just say that part of me is still under construction.

In leadership, we often hear the phrase “non-anxious presence.” It describes the kind of person we want to be—and be around—when things get tense. This idea comes from Edwin Friedman, a Jewish rabbi and leadership expert. He introduced it in Generation to Generation (1985), where he applied family systems theory to leadership.

Family systems theory teaches that we are all connected. Our emotions affect those around us. If one person in a family is anxious, the whole system feels it. In other words, one person’s stress spreads to others.

The problem? We live in a world obsessed with finding peace. Everyone wants emotional, mental, and relational peace, but our ways of chasing it often leave us feeling more restless than before.

So if we’re searching for peace so hard, why does it feel so out of reach? And how can we truly find and keep a non-anxious presence—especially when life feels chaotic?

Ways We Try (and Fail) to Find Peace

Most of us look for peace in temporary fixes. Some work for a moment, but none provide lasting peace.

1. Distraction & Numbing

• Scrolling social media – Feels like a break but often makes anxiety worse.
• Entertainment & binge-watching – Helps us “turn off” but doesn’t refresh us.
• Food, alcohol, or other substances – Provides temporary relief but doesn’t heal the root cause.

2. Self-Optimization & Control

• Wellness culture – Meditation, breathwork, and mindfulness can help, but they don’t fix the deeper need of our souls.
• Decluttering & minimalism – Organizing our space is great, but it doesn’t erase inner turmoil.
• Over-planning & productivity hacks – Trying to “get ahead” of stress can feel like bailing water from a sinking boat.

3. Seeking Escape in Experiences

• Travel & adventure – Getting away sounds great, but our struggles are still there when we return.
• Retail therapy – Buying things may lift our mood for a moment, but it doesn’t last.
• Wellness retreats & spa days – Relaxing is good, but peace isn’t found in a massage or weekend getaway.

4. External Validation & Status

• Career success & financial security – We think we’ll feel secure when we reach a certain salary or job title. But it never feels like enough.
• Social approval (likes, followers, reputation) – If we seek peace in applause, we’ll feel rejected when we don’t get it.
• Relationships & “finding the one” – We expect others to bring us peace, but no person can fill that void.

The Biblical Contrast: True Peace in Jesus

Take a moment and think: Which of these habits do you turn to for peace? There’s no shame—we all do it. The mistake isn’t wanting peace; it’s looking for it in the wrong places.

Biblical peace isn’t based on circumstances—it’s found in a relationship with Jesus. He offers peace that the world simply cannot provide.

John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Peace isn’t something we manufacture by striving harder. It comes when we surrender to Him. When we place our lives in His care, He becomes our Good Shepherd, our Father, and our source of security. He owns our lives, and we belong to Him.

When we draw near to Him—through prayer and His Word—He reminds us that we are never alone. He walks beside us in dark seasons, guides us when we’re lost, and provides protection on every side.

We often want Jesus to give us a plan for our lives. Instead, He offers us His Presence.

John 16:33 – “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus is the ultimate non-anxious presence.

The world says, “Work harder for peace.” Jesus says, “Rest in me.”

Are you chasing peace or receiving it from Jesus?

When we surrender to Him and spend time in His Presence, He transforms us—making us a non-anxious presence in the lives of others. This is the only pursuit of peace that truly satisfies.